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She sends me a message by Facebook
that pops up rather surprisingly, as I didn’t know they could do that.
I reply to one of her ten different email addresses.
She sends me a tweet.
I send her a video, which was probably the wrong thing to do.
She answers with an email to all of my six email addresses
including gmail and yahoo.
I give her a call on her mobile.
She doesn’t answer but sends me a text.
I text back and for good measure ring her office number and leave
a voice mail.
She responds by Pinteresting a photo of me.
I say what I think about this on Google Circles.
I receive a letter from her solicitor.
I ring her mobile and manage to get through, but she cuts me off.
Her solicitor sends me another letter.
I write on her Facebook wall what I think about solicitors.
She says I don’t know how to communicate.
I say I never know where to find her communications.
She says I’m just avoiding mature communication.
On Instagram, I send her a picture of two fingers