Tuesday January 17th 1989
*The Man with the Child in His Eyes
Over a number of sessions, my therapist has been saying something about me having a problem with my mother.
I’m going through a very difficult time post-divorce. The pressure of feeling is so great I can barely contain it. I wonder if a problem with regard to my mother lies at ‘the bottom of all this’, and what could that be?
I talk to the child within me.
My child must learn again to love other children and not be afraid. My child can play with the children.
My child can help a lot.
In my angry arguments someone else is involved not just my child. I have to ask them all to come out and own up. I would appreciate it if you would all line up for me. Perhaps a teenager. I have no image.
(My father would get us to line up for a bollocking.)
I perceive my child as hidden. Explosive. Violent. Tantrum prone. A baby. (With a black-boiled, fly-blown face). A child. Demanding centre stage. (Wanting its mother). How do I propitiate this demon?
You can come out.
Come from behind the door.
We won’t hurt you.
Very quietly, I’m calling to you,
like coaxing a wild animal.
A wild child.
Come here to me.
Let me throw my arms around you.
Kneel down for you.
Frightened child,
shocked away
I hold your hand and stand with you and say,
Look at this world. Isn’t it fabulous?
Some giant sun at the shoulder of some giant gold-lined cloud.
*See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_with_the_Child_in_His_Eyes
‘The Man with the Child in His Eyes is a song by Kate Bush. It is the fifth track on her debut album The Kick Inside and was released as her second single, on the EMI label, in May 1978.
‘Bush wrote the song when she was 13 and recorded it at the age of 16… Bush said in a 1979 interview on Multi-Coloured Swap Shop, when asked about the meaning of the song, that it was “something she felt about men generally... that a lot of men have got a child inside them... that they’re more or less just grown up kids... it’s a very good quality... because a lot of women grow up and get far too responsible, and it’s really nice to keep that delight in wonderful things that children have, and that’s what I was trying to say, that this man can communicate with the younger girl because he’s on the same level.”’
Monday January 17th 2000
Start the Week on BBC Radio 4 with Gwen Adshead, Consultant Psychotherapist at Broadmoor, and Antonio Damasio.
Brilliant phrase from AD – ‘The Improper Labelling of Events’
The Improper Labelling of Events
Where the label is attached is important
and significant.
It should always be put in place after the event,
never before.
Events should be labelled in alphabetic or chronological order.
They should not be kept in cellophane envelopes with handwritten stickers.
Events should be labelled carefully.
Never try to include two events under the same label.
If the label doesn’t stick to the event
you may be trying to attach the wrong label,
or your gluestick is empty.Gwen Adshead: ‘Violence a kind of necessity.’ Managing fear is part of our mammalian heritage. We are born in fear
‘To be mammalian is to be in fear.’
Cp Bruce Chatwin – the idea of fear of the cat.
Friday January 17th 2003
An item in a radio programme all about first woman to write a sonnet sequence – niece of Sir Philip Sydney. The sequence was about her losing love and making the choice to leave behind promiscuous love.
